I was dead tired when I arrived home. My wife welcomed me but I brushed her aside. I asked how the children were and without waiting for an answer, I headed to our bedroom. I just kicked off my shoes, removed my tie and threw it at the bedside table. Then I immediately dozed off.
In the middle of the night, I was roused from sleep. I dreamt I was rushing home from the office and I was being followed by a cab. As I went down from my car, one male person boxed me in the face. I hit him in the gut and gave him an uppercut. Another person was shouting; then I felt the nozzle of a pistol directed at my temple. I was breathing heavily and was sweating profusely when I woke up.
I went to the kitchen and drank cold water from the fridge.
When I went back to bed, my wife was still fast asleep. I pulled my pants and took off my long sleeves. I then lit the lampshade by my bedside. I opened a file folder from by backpack and began to read.
Suddenly, I noticed my wife shuddering.
I laid the file folder at the bedside table and crawled to where my wife lay. I hugged her and I kissed the back of her head.
I heard her mumbling.
She spoke my name in her sleep.
There was sadness in her soft, lovely voice when she said: “Bakit ang hirap mong mahalin?”
I felt numb.
I drew her closer to me.
I began to feel her pain.
It was real.
And I began to sob in disbelief.